Am I alive or am I dead?


I check my vital status, I try to calculate…
…I explore my apparatus, I try to judge my state…

As I see the years rush, my doubts encapsulate…
…I listen to the humble hush, of my god forsaken fate…

It’s not about the joys now, it’s about my doubtful state…
…No sense of rejoice now, When the happiness is late…

I think I am, then I think I’m not, What’s love and What’s hate?
I check my calculations plot, and then I try to judge my state!

I found the Deepest treasure, Am I really that fortunate?
My eyes moisten with pleasure, as the joys perpetuate…

Future imitates present, the present is out of date…
Present isn’t a “present”, vague is what I rate…

I pinch myself, I feel the pain, and then I sink down on my weight…
…I analyze the potential gain, and then I try to judge my state…

Am I alive or am I not? the question itself is vague…
…another one of my restless thought; a quest to dissipate!

PS: one of my stupid works, written on 17.01.2009